Where Are All Of The So-called “Moderate” Stingrays?

Button120by60_18 Editorial-

As regular readers of TNOYF know, I have been atypically slow to react to the untimely and tragic death of Steve “The Crocodile Hunter” Irwin. I have been waiting to see what the reaction would be from the stingray community on this violent and cowardly act but as of yet I have heard nothing. Nada. Zilch.

Where are all of the “moderate” stingrays that I keep hearing about in the press? Just one stingray speaking out against the crime would hold more weight than the dozens of liberal stingray apologists who have taken up their cause.

I keep hearing marine biologists and other oceanic experts repeat the same talking points over and over: “It is extremely rare for stingrays to kill people“, “Stingrays just want to live in peace“, “Most stingrays disagree with what happened.”

Balderdash. I have heard of exactly one encounter between a stingray and a human, a well-trained and very experienced wild animal expert at that, which literally ended in cold-blooded murder. I am no mathematician, but that is almost a 90% kill ratio for these swift-swimming agents of death.

So today I issue a challenge to the “moderate” stingray community if they exist: Stand up (or hop out of the water or whatever it is that you do) and speak out against this terrible hate crime or face being lumped in with the rest of your murderous breed.   

And to the oceans, reefs and lagoons that provide safe harbor for these killers I say this: Do not shelter these creatures. Do not give them comfort. Do not let them do stingrayish things within your borders. Remember, you are either with us or you are with the Oceanic Fascists.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, September 14th, 2006 at 7:48 am and is filed under Conservative satire, Editorials. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

Comments

2 Responses to “Where Are All Of The So-called “Moderate” Stingrays?”

  1. S. Ray on September 14th, 2006 2:39 pm

    You’re next, Williams.

  2. spurwing plover on September 19th, 2006 10:21 am

    Just wait the jerks at PETA will be whinning he died becuase he exploited animals well PETA exploits animals when PETA idiots run around in silly costumes in their stupid protests then they turn around and kill all those pets that could have gotten a nice home bbbuutt lloookkk ooouuttt pppeetttaa iimm hhavviinngg aaaa suuudddeennn rreeelllaapppeess iiimmm cchhhaaaannngggiiinnngggg iiinnnntttoooo aaaa bbiiirrrddd aaannnddd iiimmm ffflllyyyiiinnngg yyyoooouuurrr wwwaaayyy SQUAWK SQUAWK





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