Syphilis- A downer at any time of the year. This stingy, discharge-producing, genital companion is particularly unwelcome during the Christmas season, when medical care is at a premium due to vacationing physicians.   

Nutella- Now available in regular, extra-creamy, and weapons-grade varieties, this overseas treat continues to struggle with it’s identity. Is it in fact “delicious, hazelnutty goodness in a jar” as the advertisements say? Or is it a Jonestown-inspired, European death-spread, as our research indicates? Do not take the risk.  

Officially Licensed NAMBLA Trench coat- On the surface, there would seem to be nothing to dislike about this product. Durable nylon shell. Plush, well-lined interior. Hand-stitching. However, do not be fooled by the high quality of the garment. The makers of this coat gave their true intentions away when they advertised it as being “available in a variety of child-friendly colors” and as having “highly candy-resistant pockets.”

Islamic Rage Boy- Although he sings like an angel, runs a successful on-line empire, quickly put Ted Rall in his place, and will not kow-tow to Bill Clinton’s bullying tactcis, Islamic Rage Boy does not make a good pet. Trust us.

“Zoo”- This film is merely a regurgitation of the age-old story: Man meets horse. Man pays horse’s pimp to have sex with horse. Horse inserts his horse-sized penis into boy’s (formerly human-sized) anus. Man dies. People point and laugh at the stupid dead man with the battered, gaping pony-hole. Movie gets Sundance nomination.    

Eau de Taint & Chunky Soup- The third fragrance in Cindy Sheehan’s line of Protest Perfumes disappoints from the start. Dark brown in color with an expired milk consistency, this product is destined to be the “re-gift” of the season.         

Related posts 

1. Friends of TNOYF Help Model New Islamic Rage Boy Product Line
2. Islamic Rage Boy Debuts New Music Video For “Baby What A Pack of Lies”
3. Islamic Rage Boy’s Call-In Radio Show On 97.5FM, “The Fatwa”
4. Islamic Rage Boy Archives and Store
5. TNOYF Presents: The Islamic Rage Boy(TM) Retrospective