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Judge Roy Pearson’s Ex Files Suit Against Him Claiming World Was Never “Rocked”
In a cruel twist of fate Roy Pearson, the man who filed a $54 million lawsuit against a dry cleaner who lost his pants, now finds
himself on the defensive. Pearson’s former girlfriend Melissa DeLoach has filed suit against him for failing to live up to his own lofty guarantees of coital performance.
“Quite frankly, my client feels duped,” said DeLoach’s attorney, J.D. Shuttelworth. “There were certain copulatory promises that were made by Mr. Pearson that simply never materialized. This breach of oral contract, so to speak, has left my client distraught. Compensation is in order.”
That compensation, $75 billion dollars, is to defray the pain and suffering that DeLoach claims never came into being as a result of Pearson’s lackadaisical effort.
The suit makes the following contentions:
- Although he did get slightly “jiggy-wid” Ms. DeLoach , Mr. Pearson never in fact “rocked her world.”
- Despite Mr. Pearson’s repeated claims to the contrary, Ms. DeLoach was never able to see her deity during intercourse.
- Mr. Pearson made repeated, mockingly rhetorical questions that insinuated that Ms. DeLoach does not know who her father is.
Shuttelworth continued, “It’s one thing to claim you’re ‘packing nine in the pants’. It’s quite another thing to surreptitiously be using the metric system when making this statement.”
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Ah yes, the golden rule of dating, never promise more than you can deliver.
Personally, my favorite coital line to a chick is “I got mine, get your own!”
Judge Roy Pearson and his $64 Million Pants Have Made the French News…
Does it get any worse than this? A frivolous lawsuit by an insane ‘official’ gets made fun of on the French news!!!
The FWEENCH news!
First the Chungs have had to put out tens of thousands of dollars to defend themselves. Second, the tax…
She said, “Just who you think you’re gonna make happy with that little thing?”
He said, “ME!!”
Looking at that picture is sad. I mean, is Kadeem Hardison aging BIG time or what?
Another sad tale of all talk, no tongue…
All I want,
All I really
really want…….
He should have file a suit… Get it? A suit! bwahahahahah!
Pock!pock! is this thing on? Is this thing on?
Hilarious.
And thanks for linking to my post: http://plancksconstant.org/blog1/2007/06/roy_l_pearson_update.html
lost his pants,now he’s goimg to lose his shirt.