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Abu Ghraib Dog Sentenced To Live With ACLU Lawyer David Lane

With the sentence handed down yesterday that Sgt. Michael J. Smith of Fort Lauderdale must serve 179 days in prison, many wondered about the consequences for the snarling dog the solder used to help relieve constipated Iraqi prisoners.Abu_dog

That issue was cleared up last night in a private session of the court, when it was revealed the dog would be adopted by ACLU Lawyer David Lane, who currently represents semi-notable liberals Ward Churchill and Jay Bennish.

At the reading of the terms the dog whined and defecated on the foot of the courtroom attendant restraining him. Observers say that it took several burly court officers and the promise of a wounded cat in the back room to calm the dog, who’s name will be changed from “Chomper” to “Steve” as part of the deal.

Lane will reportedly recondition “Steve” in Clockwork Orange fashion, strapping the canine down and forcing him to watch film of lazy rabbits posed seductively in dog food bowls, interspersed with quick cuts of plump, tender Iraqi forearms and calfs.

Editor’s Note: This post was written by TNOYF’s Senior Correspondent Robert Potfry. Be sure to visit Robert’s own site for more of his outstanding work.

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This entry was posted on Saturday, March 25th, 2006 at 10:53 am and is filed under Correspondent columns. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

Comments

One Response to “Abu Ghraib Dog Sentenced To Live With ACLU Lawyer David Lane”

  1. Debbie on March 26th, 2006 10:17 am

    Oh, good stuff. The reaction of the dog was perfect! I love it.





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