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VA Tech Students Ask Media To Leave, Greta Chains Herself To Oak Tree
The student government at Virginia Tech is asking the hundreds of reporters who have spent the last week camped out on their campus in the wake of the horrific school shootings, to leave by Monday morning; the day students are set to resume classes. This request has elicited a strong response from those in the media.
“Leave? I don’t think so,” said firmly secured Fox news anchor Greta Van Sustern. “Why on Earth would we go when there are still so many stories that have been left untold? For example, for tonight’s ‘On the Record’, I am going to be interviewing one of the custodians who works the overnight shift at a Blacksburg area McDonalds. This incredible man once swept up a straw wrapper and some french fries that belonged to one of the victim’s friend’s intramural ultimate frisbee teammates. The public has a right to hear this heart-wrenching tale from a man who was clearly touched by this tragedy. To paraphrase President Bush, the media setting a timetable for withdrawal would prove disastrous.”
Van Sustern’s Fox news colleague Bill O’Reilly concurs.
“With all due respect to these students, they are not taking a fair and balanced approach to the media with regard to this shooting,” opined O’Reilly. “We need to put this stuff out there so that the American people can see for themselves what is going on, just like when we sent ‘The Factor’ cameras on Spring Break. We took no joy in airing extensive video of drunken, nubile college women prancing around in skimpy outfits while making out with each other, and I took no pleasure in editing that same video for hours on end in the privacy of my basement. Were people upset? Some, but I was prepared to take the ratings hit that went with that decision. I care about the folks that much. You see?”
The View’s Rosie O’Donnell offered her own unique take on the situation when she noted, “Grrr! Guns make Rosie angry!!!”
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Yeah those damn liberal left-wing journalists can be a real bunch of pests i mean these vultures overstay their welcomes till they call out the UNWELCOME WAGON
The media circus so aptly named.
Buckley,
I hate to tell you but you got your Rosie O’Donnell quote wrong, she actually said, “Grrr! Guns make Rosie hungry!!!”