In what many are calling an act of God, and San Franciscans are calling crappy luck, a watermelon-sized piece of Skylab obliterated Barry Bonds yesterday as he waddled to his car after going 0 for 3 in his effort to surpass Hank Aaron’s career home run record of 755.

 NASA was befuddled by the incident, saying that they thought all pieces of Skylab had been accounted for.

 ”We’re befuddled by the incident,” said NASA engineer Toby Arlington.  “That a piece of Skylab would re-enter the atmosphere decades after we’d accounted for what we thought were the last remnants of the spaceship, and splatter the would-be homerun king all over a parking lot– well, let’s just say, I’m going to play Powerball tonight.”

 Witnesses say that Bonds was slithering across the parking lot, engaged in a heated argument with a feisty cyst on his back, when a streak of light crossed the sky and slammed into the pimple-covered buttocks of the would-be homerun king.

“The cyst was demanding more credit for the homerun chase,” said observer and Bonds fan Kandi Arlington, “and more Doritos.  It wasn’t the first time we’ve seen cystic growths on Barry want a bigger piece of the pie.  Remember the growth on his ear that wanted 25% of everything or it would make him deaf?   The poor man was covered with money-grubbing, talking lesions, likely created by the stress of having millions of people accuse him of steroid abuse.”

According to police at the scene, Barry Bonds was splattered into millions of little mercury-like gobules that fled the scene, mewling about respect.

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