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New Footage Of Dana Perino/Helen Thomas Exchange
Editor: New footage of the testy exchange last week between reporter Helen Thomas and White House Press Secretary Dana Perino has emerged. TNOYF presents it here in its full, unedited glory.
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“..so, 5,700 troops will be home by the end of the year, so that is some troops coming home. The President said that troop levels are going to be made by commanders on the ground, and that we’re going to have to be-”
“SAN EEP NO MAPTO FAN EE WAN?”
“Helen, the American people have had a say. They elected a president, he is their Commander-in-Chief and is making decisions based on what his commanders on the ground are telling him-”
“FANN MOOP TEE RAY FLAN POD RAF CLON?”
“They elected a Commander-in-Chief, and the President is bringing home 5,700 troops based on the recommendations of his commanders on the ground. Hopefully in the future we can bring home more, but it’s going to depend on what General Petraeus says, and-”
“LAK RECOT FLAR TEP MAM OW NA?”
“Helen, I find it really unfortunate that you use your front row position– taking up three seats mind you– bestowed upon you by your colleagues, to make such statements. It is an honor and a privilege to be in the briefing room and to suggest that we are killing innocent people is just absurd and very offensive, particularly coming from someone who’s small, largely useless hands are not clean.”
“NAP MAH FOP TEN CLOT SHEOP?”
“Oh, I think you know exactly what I mean, but let me spell it out for you. Over the course of President Bush’s two terms in office, seven of our White House Press interns who disagreed with you have been mysteriously discovered frozen in carbon.”
“WAP LON FRON TIF VORK?”
“At last year’s ‘White House Tribute to Mark Twain’, upwards of thirty frogs went missing from the frog-jumping contest.”
“GERP LEAT FLAN LIT-”
“…their remains were found in your stool.”
“BLAN, TOR ERP LU! BLAN SHEE!”
“Fine, Helen. But what about the cache of Revlon Puppy Blood Crimson lipstick that was discovered in your lair? I’m looking right at the land mass that it has to cover, and let’s just say that you aren’t buying that amount of lipstick on a reporters salary.”
“DREL LON UN FREW OP TUN BAP LEEP BOL IRF TAP WAKY NAN FLON TO LOP POL CAR NOPYWAN TELOP WERP FANTWAN BON MORT FEL!”
…
“TORPLANFLENT.”
“Next question.”
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My stomach hurts, this is so damn funny!
Thank you allahakchew. I’m just glad we were able to shed some light on Thomas’ illicit extracurricular activities. The intergalactic spice trade certainly attracts some shady characters, and none creates more shade than the venerable Ms. Thomas herself.
Plus we were looking for an excuse to put up mutlitple Dana Perino pictures. Unfortunately no matter how far I tilt my monitor forward, all I’m getting is collarbone. Oh well.
Ho Damn! You guys…you guys.
Are you sure that these pictures of Helen are recent? She looks much younger than when I saw her last week at the Demonic Whores of Satan conference.
Helen would also make an acceptable Sarlacc monster. Oh, and bravo for ruining Jabba for me guys.
Somebody’s doing a good job channeling wuzzadem!
“Oh, and bravo for ruining Jabba for me guys.”
That’s nothing. Wait til you see the Rosie-Golum amalgamation we discovered.
“That’s nothing. Wait til you see the Rosie-Golum amalgamation we discovered”
Man I hate you guys
About time it comes out about the real Helen. This picture clearly shows Helen Thomas writing a check to JFK if only he’d have sex with her. You can see the bespectacled guy in the background has obviously just puked. And here she is again trying to pull a “Britney exit” out of her cab, sans panties. Thank God the photographer had the decency not to lower his lens that far.
Wow its the TYRANASUAORS MEX the most scary critter in the most scary thing south of the border and its here illegaly
I think I am going to have nightmares for the next week about that post. It’s exactly what I expected Helen Thomas to look like without her “cloaking” device turned on.