Guest Editorial By Islamic Rage Boy(C)

My dear infidels, I had not planned on writing today, as I’ve a busy schedule: a morning caning of Malaki Abdama’s insolent son, who was found looking at a copy of his father’s Barely Legal Camels magazine; a brainstorming for anti-U.S. slogans with some of the village leaders (you try and find words that rhyme with Satan); and, finally, a speech that I must give at the local school, entitled, “To Saw Or Slice: Common Mistakes In Decapitation.”

But, the news from Egypt forces my hand. I must address the horrid story of a clitorectomy gone terribly wrong, when a young girl died due to an overdose of anesthesia.

In all my years of mutilating female genitalia, never have I encountered such idiotic mistakes as are clearly evident in this case. Anesthesia? Who was this alleged clitorectomist? Any good Muslim knows that the pain of clitoral removal is part of the rite of passage. But, instead of suffering the excruciating removal of an organ of pleasure that Allah never intended her to have, this young whore likely drifted off to death dreaming about who knows what– perhaps an exposed wrist or ankle. I shudder to think.

What’s next, I ask you? Epidurals for child birth? Local anesthesia for beheaded infidels? Doses of Motrin for Suicide Bombers? PERHAPS WE WON’T BURN FLAGS ANYMORE BUT SIMPLY WRINKLE THEM???

As I write this, a team of educators has been dispatched to Egypt to re-train this hack doctor. It will be much harder for him to consider anesthesia since he’ll be performing the procedure with one hand from now on.

Praise be to Allah.

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