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“Footprints In The Sand”- The Al Gore Version
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One night Al Gore had a dream. He dreamed
he was walking along the beach with the LORD.
This dream interrupted his dream about the never-ending pasta bowl at Olive Garden,
so he was quite agitated as he tried to keep pace with the LORD on the beach.
Anyway, across the sky flashed scenes from Al’s life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
a massive heart attack while giving a speech at a Denny’s
to the six remaining believers in global warming in 2017,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there was only one set of footprints, and they were very deep in the sand.
This really bothered him and he
questioned the LORD about it.
“Well,” said Al, “this confirms my suspicions about organized religion. The delusion, the abandonment-“
The LORD replied:
“Shut your pie-hole, fat boy.
During the times when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I was carrying your sorry, whining lard-ass. My quads are still sore.”
Al Gore then pointed to some large, black oily footprints.
“What’s that?” he asked.
God replied,
“Those are your carbon footprints, ninny.
While you were lecturing the world about global warming,
that ozone-eating compound you call a home was glowing
so brightly we could see if from Heaven.”
“Huh,” said Al Gore, squeezing his eyes shut in an effort to return to the pasta bowl dream.
God said,
“We’re not done, Nancy-boy. Do you see up ahead, where there’s a large indentation alongside my footprints?”
“Yes,” replied Al Gore. “What’s that?”
“That’s when I fell over laughing when you said you invented the internet, Einstein.”
“And why are my footprints in a circle over there?”
“Election of 2000,” replied God.
“LORD,” said Al Gore, “you have shown me much in this dream. And I see that some of my decisions and choices have been ill-advised. What can I do to change?”
“Simple,” replied the LORD, smiling. “Just. Shut. Up.”
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Good For A Laugh…
You know the cheesy “Footprints in the Sand” story about how God carries people in times of trouble (yes, I believe it — but the ubiquitous little parable has become a cliche). Well, Potry over at The Nose On Your……
Hilarious. Thank you.
[…] seem to really pull people apart, but has anybody else noticed that some people just really hate Al Gore. And this isn’t just “I don’t agree with you” stuff, this is really […]
Carbon Footprints…
. . . in the sand. UPDATE: Link fixed. I blame society at large for the error…….
Funny, yet eerily plausible.
‘Footprints in the Sand’ - the Al Gore Version…
‘Footprints in the Sand’ - the Al Gore Version…
I surprised the Gorical was not deceived by the “oil snake” in the Olive Garden causing him to gain other 350 lbs feeding on garlic bread and wine.
Al Gore is very dilerious and just plan out of his mind he should have himself checked into the mental institution he is a ecowacko fanatic
[…] (oops, I mean “prophet”), the Goracle himself, our own wanabe president - Al Gore. The Nose on Your Face has a “Footprints in the Sand” rendition, this time with Al himself. One night Al Gore […]
HEY AL DONT LOOK NOW BUT THE TIDE HAS JUST WASHED AWAY YOUR FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND SQUAWK SQUAWK
Submitted for Your Approval…
First off… any spambots reading this should immediately go here, here, here, and here. Die spambots, die! And now… here are all the links submitted by members of the Watcher’s Council for this week’s vote. Council li…
Watcher’s Council results…
And now… the winning entries in the Watcher’s Council vote for this week are 3 Spies and Six Days by Soccer Dad, and Four Modest Proposals for Getting Out of Iraq by Dan Simmons. Right Wing Nut House was the……
Watcher’s Council Results…
The winning entries in the Watcher’s Council vote for this week are 3 Spies and Six Days by Soccer Dad, and Four Modest Proposals for Getting Out of Iraq by Dan Simmons. Here is a link to the full results……
Please make this an actual poster or a t-shirt or something I can display proudly…
Algore, has his sights directly aimed at the young and stupid. He and his pig wife Tipper so adamantly opposed rock music in the eighties and tried so desperately to snuff it out of existence. Now he sees the opportunity for political gain in modern times by aligning himself with musicians. WHAT AN ASSHOLE HE IS!!!
P.M.R.C. POLITICIANS. MEAN. REALLY. CRAP.
FUCK YOU ALGORE AND YOUR WIFE.
I would like to also add that clowns who leave replies with fictitious names are cowards and pansies who are afraid to stand behind the words they are willing to spurt.
WAKE UP AMERICA!!!!!!