Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, a very vocal critic of the U.S. and President Bush, has urged his countrymen to ignore Halloween calling it an  “alien U.S. custom” and further branding it a “game of terror.”

“Only a country as wicked as America would foist this unholy day on their people,” stated Chavez, resplendent in a navy blue Armani suit as he read from a prepared statement. “Witnessing the rituals of this so-called holiday being played out is akin to watching a nationwide, candy-riddled terrorist training operation.” 

Instead, Chavez offers the following suggestions to Venezuelan families looking for something to do on October 31st:

• Visit oncology units and cheer for cancer.*
• Talk to your children about the evils of capitalism. 
• Snuggle.
• Take your children on the “Scared Straight” tour at your local prison. Hopefully, this will teach them not to read from the banned book list.

In a related story, the Iranian government has called for a ban on Arbor Day calling trees “a wicked tool of the infidels.”   

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