Chair rights activists have responded with outrage after a security camera image of a rather ample woman waiting for a delayed flight at London’s Heathrow airport appeared on the Internet last week. One group, “Not With That Frame”, has been especially vocal over the incident.

“This is abuse plain and simple,” said NWTF spokesman David Winters. “If this woman was sitting on a puppy or a Q’aran rather than a chair, there would have been an uproar. Who then shall speak for the most vulnerable among us? What of the chairs? If not us, who? If not now, when? Much is revealed about a people by the way they treat their sitting implements.”

Some experts feel that this is no isolated incident, but rather part of a larger global movement.

“We’ve been encountering more and more acts of lipo-terror recently,” said a Scotland Yard spokesman. “Each group has their own signature move. Silent-but-deadly’s left on The Tube are the calling card of the Palestinian Fatwad movement. Hazbullion inflicts horrendous damage on innocent undergarments and then steals all of your stain removal spray. Mangled folding chairs are clearly the work of Al Qarba.”

Experts say it is not necessary to run if you are attempting to escape from a suspected lipo-terrorist, as walking at a “very slow to slow pace” should do the trick.

Related posts 

1. Carter Kills At King Service
2. Al Qaeda Set To Release “Greatest Hits” Tape
3. Former Slurpee-Slinger Provides Critical Info To Feds
4. Olfactory Rights Groups Incensed Over Attempt To Ban Air Fresheners
5. Retro-Nose: Top 9 Alternate Names For The Global War On Terror