Subscribe
A Friend Remembers Saddam Hussein
Dear Saddam,
What can I say? You have always been like a big brother to me. I have so many fond memories that I don’t know where to start.
Remember that time in homeroom when you killed the substitute teacher because she mispronounced your name? That was sweet.
Or how about the time at the cake walk when you raped the entire PTA at knife-point? Classic.
Then there was the time that we played Jerusalem High in the sectional soccer playoffs. I still remember the look on their goalie’s face when he went to make a diving save and then suddenly realized that it was not a ball, but rather a rocket propelled grenade you had launched from the stands. Priceless.
Hey, what about the road trip we made to France in 10th grade when Chirac’s parents were away? Man. We drank all of his champagne, trashed his house, and gang-raped his sister but he kept talking about “you are my very good friends”. What an asshat.
Anyways, hope to see you over the summer. Oh wait, you’re dead. Well then, stay cool. Hmm. No good either. How about, try not to get brutally sodomized with a pitchfork for eternity while submerged in a sweltering, rancid pool of lava and pig entrails.
Your friend,
Jalani
BFF
Click here to visit TNOYF’s new on-line store!
- Even With Incriminating New Photograph, Saddam/Anthrax Connection Still In Dispute
- New Audio Translation Of Saddam Hussein’s Final Minutes
- “Cranial Pork Chop Torture” Tops List Of Saddam Allegations
- Hussein Blasts ‘DaVinci Code’ Bigwigs Over Stereotype
- Bin Laden ’s Inability To Hit The Outside “J” Revealed
Jesus - it’s all very well gloating about Spittle Beard taking the long drop, but there’s a serious side to this. That dude owed some of us money. Who’s gonna pay now?
Here in Ireland, we supplied him with beef, to feed his army while they tortured and murdered. Your Mr Rumsfeld helped him do business with the arms trade. When he wanted to spray chemicals on the Kurds, there were a lot of people didn’t get paid for the helicopters he used. From 1991, the fucker welshed on his debts. Hanging the guy is all very well, but who do we sue now?
We’re getting paid in rare Iraqi art, prather. Look for it on eBay.
I would suggest that if the Irish feel they have something coming to them, send a platoon over.
Well crafted Mr. Williams
Sounds like an evil “Welcome Back Kotter” (SP) episode. Maybe Vinnie Barbareno could have converted him to Scientology….
Just ran into your blog. I’m in tears, this is about the funnies content I’ve seen in a long time. Keep up the great work.
dear jalani,
what can SADDAM probably answer you is that u r much smaller than to b a freind of mine. if hell is made for heros then i ll be in it, not waiting for u of course; am going where men do, but not sure that u will do.
dear Jalani, if saddam was alive, he would not have answered you, one simple reason, you can t reach the level of someone who lived as a hero and died as a man. the worls is full of people it breaks, and the ones it can t break, it kills and Saddam is one unbreakable. Look at him facing death as a hero,if you were sure that he is not a man, then do like him and wish death and wait for it. there is a slight difference between a man and a coward who pretends to be a man, that difference is that manliness comes by nature and doesn t get adopted. I wouldn t mind to be hunged if i know that my head will be risen untill the last minute as saddam s head.