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Lynne Stewart Sentenced, Superlative Futures Soar
Lynne Stewart, the feisty, firebrand, civil-rights-attorney-by-day, Manhattan-grandmother-by-
night, who is currently battling breast cancer after a lifetime of advocating for the poor and downtrodden*, received what many feel was a light sentence from U.S. District Judge John G. Koeltl yesterday.
Stewart was sentenced to 28 months (out of a possible 30 years) in prison for smuggling messages out of prison for World Trade Center bomber Sheik Omar Abdel-Rahman.
“I knew we were up against it the first day we entered the courtroom and Judge Koeltl had the court stenographer in a burka,” said assistant U.S. attorney Wilson Sanders. “I was hoping we’d get a fair shake. All is not lost though. We still have several felony dental charges pending against Ms. Stewart and we also plan on prosecuting her for her reckless indifference to dozens of the city’s slovenly statutes.”
Stewart’s attorney says he plans to appeal the ruling on the grounds that “prison always causes her gout to flare up.”
*Editor’s note: We apologize if we missed any of Ms. Stewart’s descriptors. To double check our work, please feel free to visit Newsday, the small of Cindy Sheehan’s back, The New York Times, Sean Penn’s diary or Al Jazeera.
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She should have consitered the conciquences before she aided a terrorists and her lawyer should have his appeal shoved
She originally got the full thirty years, but the stenographer, an ex-con, appealed on behalf of her former prisonmates, one of whom she recently married in a civil ceremony behind bars, on the grounds that more than twenty eight months would constitute cruel and unusual punishment…for her prisonmates, who had committed no further crimes after getting THEIR particular sentences. Does this mean there WON’T be a long line waiting to abuse the lovely Ms. Stewart? My guess is SHE won’t come out with a colorfully knitted afghan from her cellmates, at least.
LMAO!
It that a targeting reticle on her tee-shirt? My that was convenient of her.
Really, great picture. She looks like Michael Moore in drag. Say, now that I think about it, has anyone ever seen the two of them together in a public setting?
Like they say: “If you can do the time - then feel free to do the crime.”
Rope is much cheaper….
Man, the years have not been kind to Drew Carey, have they?