As Ezra Levant’s battles against institutionalized stupidity continue north of the border (excellent background on the story here), our TNOYF artists have been hard at work drawing up some sharp new Ezra Levant gear. Ezra’s given us his blessing to use his likeness, so the designs you see below are now for sale in the TNOYF store, on mugs, t-shirts, sweatshirts, etc. Just click on the “Free Ezra” section.

All profit from sales of Ezra gear will go to his legal defense fund. This amount varies by product; we promise to be completely transparent in our reports (you can also visit Cafe Press to learn about pricing; we’ve marked everything up to premium, so the difference between that and the base price of the product you buy will be your donation).

We’ll also donate the profits from sales of any Islamic Rage Boy gear through the end of February to Ezra’s legal defense fund.

As we discovered when we tried to trademark Islamic Rage Boy and were rebuffed by the U.S. Patent Office on the grounds that the term would be disparaging to Muslims, the fight against what Brian Anderson calls “illiberal liberalism” is constant and maddening. Ezra Levant is on the front line of the latest battle– so buy a t-shirt and support his efforts.

(Full Disclosure: there is a “The Nose On Your Face” logo on the back of some of the shirts.)

Click here to visit store.

Check out Ezra’s recent appearance on Glenn Beck via Ms. Underestimated.

TNOYF’s Video Tribute To Ezra

TNOYF was fortunate enough to be nominated for the 2007 Funniest Blog award. Please take a brief look at each of the other nominees. If you think our site is the funniest, vote for us. If you find another contender funnier, vote for them.

Please go in with an open mind and vote for the funniest site regardless of whether you are friendly with them or what their political affiliation is.

Thanks!

It has come to my attention that our humble website, The Nose On Your Face, has been nominated as “The Funniest Blog” by an obviously pro-Israeli organization that calls itself “The 2007 Weblog Awards.” My initial question is, funny how? Am I acting like a clown to you? My purpose is to provide amusement for you, the future Dhimmi’s of the Western world? I think not.

Initially, I was going to denounce the nomination as yet another trick by the evil Zionist conspirators to mock and ridicule a serious-minded, devout Muslim male. And if the crime I am being charged with is caring too much about my faith, then I plead “guilty” on all counts. That is, if I accepted your corrupt courts as having jurisdiction over a true believer such as myself. Which I do not.

I have decided to change tactics. On behalf of my infidel companions, Buckley and Potfry (the latter who makes a mean chick pea roll-up, by the way), I accept this nomination and I command… I mean I ask for your assistance in helping us win this most prestigious honor. Once victorious, I will use the platform much the same way as your Hollywood celebrities do: to denounce America and George Bush, and to further the cause of Islamic extremism. However, I promised myself I will not cry.

So, like a dead Democrat in a presidential election year, vote early and vote often (we are listed 18th and 32nd on the list; a clear sign of the anti-Muslim bias of the award’s Jew creators). I can only assume that you merely click on the “+” icon after our nomination, as I could not find an abacus anywhere.

John Evander Couey was afforded what prosecutors are calling “a tremendous break” during the sentencing phase of his trial for the rape and murder of 9-year-old Jessica Lunsford. Circuit Court Judge Ric Howard sided with the jury, which voted 10-2 in favor of Couey receiving the death sentence, a decision that prosecutors have protested in the strongest possible terms.

“Judge Howard has a reputation as a no-nonsense judge who metes out very stiff sentences,” said David Abenouder, a spokesman for the prosecution. “I guess we are now seeing that this is not the case. I should have realized he had gone soft when our motion to release Mr. Couey on the African Savanna with a wounded gazelle welded to his genitalia was dismissed out of hand. Justice has not been served in this instance.”

For their part, Couey’s defense attorneys are claiming the light sentence vindicates their strategy of attempting to mitigate potential punishment by claiming their client is mentally retarded.

“This is not only a victory for John Couey, but for justice,” said Couey attorney Serge Mendehlson. “Not only did my client escape with only a basic death sentence, but the judge rightly made adjustments in his sentence that take into account Mr. Couey’s diminished mental capacity. The fact that he will receive his lethal injection by the boiler room of an elementary school sporting both a helmet and a bib and holding his favorite crayon, is more than we could have hoped for. I am quite pleased with the outcome.”

Please take my Blog Reader Project survey.

To our valued readers and friends:

It is with great pride and pleasure that we celebrate the second anniversary of The Nose On Your Face. In honor of both this milestone and the addition of three highly valued staff members, we have opted for a new site design courtesy of the excellent Phin and Apothegm Designs.

When we started out two years ago, the nay-sayers and poo-pooers were everywhere. “You’ll never make it Buckley”, they said. “You don’t have the resources that CNN, The New York Times and the other big fake news organizations have.”

True enough. But there is one thing we do have, and that is a strong belief in both our mission and our abilities. I think in the past 24-months we have demonstrated that we can “bring the fake” with the big boys.

Let’s take a look at TNOYF by the numbers.

173,255: Combined number of mocking references to Ted Kennedy since our inception. By even the most conservative of estimates, this is at least 25,000 more than our next closest competitor. We may be small, but we deliver the goods.
2,152: Percent increase in hippie-baiting articles that we are projecting for calendar year 2007. The poorly groomed class has received a free pass for too long. Black lights and extra locks on cellar doors will not hide you from the spotlight of TNOYF-style justice bong-breathers.

3: Executive-level members who have joined The Nose On Your Face team.

Many of you already know our new Managing Editor R.H. Potfry (or as he’s fondly known by the ladies in the office, “that creepy guy who keeps asking me to dress up like Peter Pan and grab a drink with him”). Potfry brings a wealth of experience and a certain amount of gravitas to TNOYF. Furthermore, it was through his personal connections that we were able to add Cindy Sheehan’s advice column as a regular (and exclusive) feature.

Islamic Rage Boy has been with us for only a short time but he continues to impress with both his talent and his versatility. His interview skills are second to none and he makes hit records as effortlessly as the French cede their land to belligerents. IRB has recently been named Director of Customer Relations and has already eliminated nearly 98% of both complaints and complainants.

We were also very fortunate to land the legendary Bruce Dickinson as our Senior Audio-Visual Technician. You may be familiar with Bruce from his collaborations with Islamic Rage Boy on Infidels, Baby What A Pack Of Lies and most recently, I’m Not Sure Why I’m Aroused By These Things. Bruce adds another dimension to our organization as we continue to expand into different news mediums. When he’s not making hit records, he’s either planning on making records, dreaming about making hit records, or hitting someone in the head with records.

50,000: Square footage of the new TNOYF headquarters. Actual office space is 10,000 square feet. The rest is used by Islamic Rage Boy for dispute resolution and storage purposes.

If you are a regular reader, we thank you for your continued support. If you are new to TNOYF we invite you to look around and, hopefully, come back again. If you arrived at our site via a Google search for “syphilis+ clown-noses+claymation puppets”, we do not know what you are talking about.

Thanks again.

Buckley F. Williams, Senior Editor

What started out as a happy Disney World family vacation turned into a terrifying scene for one New Hampshire family yesterday. While posing for a photograph with Tigger, Jerry Monaco Jr. was unceremoniously struck in the face with an open paw from Winnie the Pooh’s bouncy pal.

“I couldn’t believe it,” said the teenager. “I was just standing there minding my own business and out of nowhere ‘Wham!’, he belted me in the mouth! Not cool.”   

Although he does not doubt that an attack occurred, at least one costumed cartoon character expert doubts the validity of Monaco’s version of events.

“Look, I’ve worked with adults who wear cartoon character costumes for a living for over twenty-five years,” said Disney World’s operations director Dalton Flanders. “And there is one salient fact that you need to remember about them- they are adults who wear cartoon character costumes for a living. They put up with an inordinate amount of crap from people, especially teenage boys, on a daily basis. Did Tigger cuff the Monaco kid? The video doesn’t lie. Was he provoked? Let’s just say that that cotton candy stick didn’t just crawl up Tigger’s ass on it’s own.”

An Orlando Police official said such incidents are fairly common.

“Such incidents are fairly common,” said an Orlando Police official.

Click here to visit TNOYF’s new on-line store!

CLICK HERE TO VISIT TNOYF’S ONLINE STORE

“Mmm… donuts… bacon… pie… puppies with right-of-center belief systems… mmm…”

• The good Doctor never runs out of insanities to share.
• Rodney Dill remains the king of the captioneers (no that is not a misspelling. I made it up).
• Check out Indian Chris’s excellent “Wednesday Hero” segment at Hooah Wife.
• It’s almost like someone scanned my dreams and made a video of them. Don’t wear out your mouse replaying this.
• As many of you know, Potfry and myself co-host a Saturday morning internet radio program on Wide Awakes Radio from 8-10 EST (although we have been off the air the past two weeks due to technical difficulties). What you may not know is that we have secured the services of a world-class roving reporter to bring back hard-hitting news from around the globe. Some call him….. Mike. Be sure to check out his new site, Greetings From Suburbia. 

Stay tuned for some BIG changes coming to The Nose On Your Face in the near future.