During tonight’s game, The following conversation among Red Sox players was secretly taped:

Damon: Dude, I can’t, like hit anything. I’ve got to get this hair trimmed. I can’t see squat.
Millar: No way, dude. Your hair is your power. Don’t give in to the man.
Pedro: He’s right, hombre. Love your locks. You look so much better than Jeter–
Damon: - but Jeter’s hitting and I’m not…
Pedro: It’s no big deal man. Remember, 10 years ago, you were under the mango tree waiting for the bus.
Damon: I was?
Pedro: It’s true. You were there with me and Nelson, the midget. He was braiding your hair.
Damon: Uh…
Millar: I’ve got the right beard and the Nation behind me. We will rise up as one and vanquish the foe…
Francona: Shut up already, you nub.
Millar: But Terry….
Francona: Listen, we’re down 13-6. It’s over. My first post season act is going to be to trade you to the Montreal Expos for a bag of balls.
Pedro: That’s funny, jefe.
Francona: And as for you, you Jeri Curled batting practice picture, I think you might want to call Japan.
Manny Ramirez: Terry, the voices are back. And they are saying I should go to Taco Bell and get the #4.
Francona: Fine. Get me a #3.

Related posts 

1. Of Mango Trees and Midgets
2. Notes from Millar’s Psychotherapist, part II
3. Damon a Yankee? Just say no, George
4. Manny Ramirez talks to his boogers
5. Red Sox-Yanks: The New Era Begins