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Cat Forced To Use Baby’s Head as Litter Box; PETA Demands Investigation
As the shock spreads over the story of a Reno, Nevada couple so hopelessly addicted to a Dungeons and Dragons video game that they nearly starved their two children to death, new horror emerged tonight when it was learned the family cat was reduced to urinating on the baby’s head instead of being provided with proper feline facilities. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has demanded an immediate investigation, releasing a statement that chastized the mass media for a “dull, myopic focus on child starvation when a cat is enduring the unfathomable humiliation of baring its private parts to an infant Neanderthal.”
”Frankly, I don’t care how close Mr. and Mrs. Straw were to becoming level nine Druid warriors, they still had a responsibility to provide an animal with a clean, appropriate lavatory that meets FDA Animal-Code standards,” said PETA spokeswoman Autumn Delia. “One of Mother Earth’s precious creatures was placed in their charge and this is the treatment he received? Besides, when I think about the bacteria that run rampant on a human youngling’s head…yecch! Just…just…yecchh!!”
In related news, authorities announced that the internet-obsessed couple would receive treatment as part of a sodomy-obsessed support group in prison.
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So disturbingly wrong (the actual news and the fake bit), but so off the wall that who knows if PETA wouldn’t actually say something similar. And one hell of an ugly cat in the picture.
That cats got guts. And I’ve played every one of them.
That kitty is better off with that infant that it ever would be with those PETA wackos he is still alive